Let's face it ladies, it's inevitable we're going to be asked to dance by men we would prefer not to dance with. Of course it's our prerogative to dance with whom we choose. No one is expected to dance with someone who is drunk, foul smelling, or behaving badly. But if that is not the case, what's the big deal? It's just one dance.

Let's put the dance shoe on the other foot. Women may have occasion to experience what men have been subjected to throughout history especially in these times of women traveling sola for business and/or pleasure. Imagine (or remember) being in a club where you know no one. You are there because you love the music, want to dance, and it beats staying in. No one knows you and therefore no one knows you can dance. You've checked out the men who dance and have determined which of them are unattached on this particular night. You summon the courage to approach a gentleman, ask him to dance, and he courteously says, "no thank you". You don't take it personally because after all you have turned down many, many such requests. And besides not too many men will turn down a woman's offer to take a spin on the dance floor. Most likely the next man will say "yes". Let's think for a minute what it would be like to be told "no "several or many times on a particular evening. Would we begin to feel bad?, rejected?, unsure of yourself? Possibly. Probably. And how would we feel if the same man who told us "no" goes on to the floor with another woman? These are some of the things to think about the next time we start turning down decent, respectable men. Should a man be penalized because we don't know him, or because he's not handsome? Remember what I said in a previous article, "Salsa Heaven" (Salsa Congress 1998). Let us consider what we might gain for sharing four or five minutes of our time. We may help another person have a better day. We could help another human being gain some self-confidence or just make him feel good about himself. In doing so we attract good into our own range of experience. Universal law dictates that we reap what we sow.

Now men, not all the women you encounter will be the high-minded variety, familiar with spiritual principals. In order to increase your ratio of "yes's" to "no's" Here are some tips. If you are an unknown commodity to the female dancing public in a particular club find a way to get on the floor so women can see your dancing abilities. (You will more or less be auditioning). Sometimes this may mean asking a woman who is not your first, second, or even third choice to dance. The goal is to gain visibility.
If after the successful demonstration you are intent upon dancing with the best dancer in the house, be sure you are able to dance at, or close to her level. Wait for a song that you really like so your dancing becomes inspired. Learn a few good turns and by all means stay on time. Women appreciate men who don't stray from the beat. Be sure to give the woman some independent dance time by releasing her hands so she can also express the inspiration she is feeling. You may have seen women lining up to dance with a particular man. You want to be this man. Do everything in your power to become as good a dancer as possible. This may mean an investment of time and money for lessons. It also means devoting time for practice. Get in front of a mirror at home and watch your movements. Do they bear any resemblance to those of your favorite dance stylists? Seriously observe the dancers you admire and try to incorporate some of the elements you like best into your own style.
Remember, SALSA IS THE GREAT EQUALIZER. You need not be the most handsome man in the place, nor the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, nor own a Jaguar, or possess any other high-end attributes women dream of. What counts in el mundo de Salsa is dancing ability. The greater your proficiency the greater in demand as a dancing partner you will become. In fact the better a man dances the more attractive he becomes. Men may feel the same way about women (let me know guys; that would make a great feature).

For both sexes, dancing well enhances the pleasure derived from moving to the exciting Salsa rhythms. Connecting with a partner on the dance floor by being in sync, by creating, by executing flawlessly, by letting the music inspire you is a singular pleasure attainable with many different partners but not with just anyone. Exert the effort required to attain these experiences. It is well worth it to do so!