|IT'S JUST ONE DANCE...||
by Eileen Torres
Let's face it ladies, it's inevitable we're going to be asked to dance by men we would prefer not to dance with. Of course it's our prerogative to dance with whom we choose. No one is expected to dance with someone who is drunk, foul smelling, or behaving badly. But if that is not the case, what's the big deal? It's just one dance.
Let's put the dance shoe on the other foot. Women may have occasion to experience what men have been subjected to throughout history especially in these times of women traveling sola for business and/or pleasure. Imagine (or remember) being in a club where you know no one. You are there because you love the music, want to dance, and it beats staying in. No one knows you and therefore no one knows you can dance. You've checked out the men who dance and have determined which of them are unattached on this particular night. You summon the courage to approach a gentleman, ask him to dance, and he courteously says, "no thank you". You don't take it personally because after all you have turned down many, many such requests. And besides not too many men will turn down a woman's offer to take a spin on the dance floor. Most likely the next man will say "yes". Let's think for a minute what it would be like to be told "no "several or many times on a particular evening. Would we begin to feel bad?, rejected?, unsure of yourself? Possibly. Probably. And how would we feel if the same man who told us "no" goes on to the floor with another woman? These are some of the things to think about the next time we start turning down decent, respectable men. Should a man be penalized because we don't know him, or because he's not handsome? Remember what I said in a previous article, "Salsa Heaven" (Salsa Congress 1998). Let us consider what we might gain for sharing four or five minutes of our time. We may help another person have a better day. We could help another human being gain some self-confidence or just make him feel good about himself. In doing so we attract good into our own range of experience. Universal law dictates that we reap what we sow.
Now men, not all the women you encounter
will be the high-minded variety, familiar with spiritual principals. In
order to increase your ratio of "yes's" to "no's"
Here are some tips. If you are an unknown commodity to the female dancing
public in a particular club find a way to get on the floor so women can
see your dancing abilities. (You will more or less be auditioning). Sometimes
this may mean asking a woman who is not your first, second, or even third
choice to dance. The goal is to gain visibility.
For both sexes, dancing well enhances the pleasure derived from moving to the exciting Salsa rhythms. Connecting with a partner on the dance floor by being in sync, by creating, by executing flawlessly, by letting the music inspire you is a singular pleasure attainable with many different partners but not with just anyone. Exert the effort required to attain these experiences. It is well worth it to do so!
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